David Cameron… sensibly staying out of the water this time

If you’ve ever wanted to test out the theory that human urine eases the pain of a jellyfish sting then form an orderly queue – British Prime Minister David Cameron could do with your help.

The beleaguered premier was stung by a jellyfish last week after popping into the sea off the Arrieta beach on Lanzarote. Onlookers have reported that Cameron came running out of the water screaming “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!” while rubbing his arm…The Tory PM has been holidaying on the Spanish island with his wife Samantha Cameron and their children. Apparently, Cameron had ignored local advice about the dangers of going into the sea at that time due to the high volumes of ‘jellies’ in the water.

David Cameron has long been a keen swimmer, and is a regular patron of his local lido outdoor pool in the Oxfordshire town of Chipping Norton. Evidently the genteel waters of southern England agree with the PM more than the salty depths of the Atlantic.

British media have been quick to dub the unknown jellyfish ‘Boris’ – a cold, horrid, fleshy blob capable of bringing the Prime Minister to his knees – in a nod to London Mayor and long-term friend and nemesis, Boris Johnson.

Of course, ignoring a jellyfish warning is a silly thing to do, but luckily the beaches of the Costa del Sol are usually clear of such dangers all year round. The Mediterranean, being one of the safest seas in the world, is a perfect family haven at any time of the year, so don’t be surprised if you see Mr. Cameron strolling along Marbella beach next summer… and if you do, be sure to resist the urge to offer up your urination services.